Navigating Life's Expected Unexpectancies

Few things in this world are promised to us. But the one thing we can be sure of is something unexpected can and will eventually happen. It may be minor. It could be major. Perhaps it will be a value-add in your life. Unfortunately, there's always the possibility it will be a negative. However the wind blows, you will definitely encounter something you didn't anticipate in the seconds, minutes, hours prior. And then it happens.

On Saturday, November 12 I broke my ankle. More specifically, I broke my left fibula. But the injury isn't the story. The story is what occurred after.

It all started with ...

Colin's 8th birthday party. A skate party. And just about every friend Colin invited showed up. There was pizza, there was pop. There were laughs, there was love. At the very end of it all, while I was standing still on the skate rink - yes, standing STILL! - talking to neighbors, my leg suddenly gave out from under me. Just a freak thing really. That's when I felt the snap! I immediately fell on the hardwood and reach for my left foot. My wife (a family practitioner) raced over to check on me. She asked if I could walk it off. I did. But after a few moments, as we tried to head back to the car, I could no longer put weight on it. What started out as a very fulfilling family day was now turning into an unexpected trip to the urgent care.

A broken what?

Fibula! I suffered a distal fibula fracture. It's as painful as it sounds. I was able to avoid surgery, fortunately, since it was a clean break. Though I was confined to a walking book all day, every day, for five weeks. And for the first few nights, before I could visit the actual orthopedic surgeon, I also had to sleep with that bad boy on. Talk about uncomfortable. Eventually, I was given an ankle brace, which I would then wear to bed at night instead of the boot. After the five weeks in the boot were over, I wore that same ankle brace for an additional three weeks. So, altogether, two months of ankle support to help the bone heal. The journey to recovery actually went by rather quickly. But it's the journey of life's lessons I was able to give to my children that I hope endure for a much longer period of time.

Opportunity to teach my kids life lessons

"Pray for the best, prepare for the worst, and expect the unexpected." is one of the best overarching lessons we can share with our children. It not only helps us keep things in perspective, but it prepares our young folks to better manage trauma mentally, emotionally, physically (as in my case), and when needed, spiritually. But under the umbrella of "pray ... prepare ... expect" are specific lessons we can offer. Here are the five I presented to my kids.

Life lesson #1 — There are people dealing with far worse

My kids were bummed about the matter. Particularly Colin, who spent much of the next day being by my side or somewhere in my general vicinity. He seemed to place blame on his own shoulders for my condition. But what I imparted on him and my other boys is there are people in this world who are attempting to power through harsher circumstances than just a broken fibula. For instance the families, friends and colleagues dealing with the unspeakable tragedy of the Los Angeles Lunar New Year mass shooting earlier in 2023. Compared to that, and so many other unfortunate happenings of life, my injury was a relative walk in the park.

Life lesson #2 — Better my left foot than my right

The next lesson I instilled in my kids was it could've been worse. "How?" they asked. My answer was the fracture could have been to my right ankle. Which means I wouldn't be able to drive. And seeing how much driving I did during the five weeks with the boot, not being able to operate a vehicle myself would've been rough for my family. Especially my wife. Instead, I was still able to drop off and pick up my kids from school, go grocery shopping, and make it to my own medical appointments, among other things. It no doubt saved us money, as well, on all of the potential Uber or Lyft rides. I guess I had a 50/50 chance of which ankle. My lucky day! (dad joke)

Life lesson #3 — There was little impact to my professional life

I travel quite a bit for my job. And at some points of the year, it can be as much as 75%. But the weekend prior to the incident, I was just wrapping up a stretch of five out of seven weeks of work travel. After the fracture I would only have to make one trek out to Las Vegas for a business trip. That came in the final week of wearing the boot, when the ankle was close to being fully healed. The rest of the time I worked from home with zero limitations on what I could accomplish in support of my role. So, there was no negative impact to my work life. And while my kids did indeed appreciate the life lesson, I think they more resonated with the fact dad wouldn't be traveling and, therefore, would be home. At least for the time being.

Life lesson #4 — I still got to skate with you

"It could've been worse." I told Colin. "It could've broke at the beginning of your party." So, I definitely took solace in the fact this happened at the very end of his party, after we'd already skated for an hour and a half. It was important for me to help him recognize and appreciate the positives that were there to be had. Because not every bad day is all bad the entire day.

Life lesson #5 — Be grateful for the great people in your life

Weeks prior to my injury, my friend and colleague, Leigh Ann, was able to get tickets for me, her, and my twin boys to go to the Chiefs/Jaguars game. It was going to be the twins' first football game. We were all excited. Sadly, the game was the day after I broke my ankle. Being the kind and thoughtful person she always is, Leigh Ann suggested she take the twins herself so they wouldn't lose out on the chance to see their first Chiefs game. I'm so grateful to have as many amazing people in my life and Leigh Ann is one of them. While I was not able to take my boys myself, the more important thing is they still were able to go.